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Jennifer Lopez Felt Like She ‘Was Going To Die’ After 2004 Split From Ben Affleck Jennifer Lopez Reflects On 2004 Split From Ben Affleck

Jennifer Lopez is reflecting on her relationship with Ben Affleck while gearing up for the release of her latest album, This Is Me…Now. The album is a follow-up to her 2002 project, This Is Me…Then. And, like its predecessor, focuses heavily on the star’s relationship with Affleck, her now-husband.

In a recent interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, Lopez reflected on the inspiration behind her third studio album. One that stands as an ode to Affleck, her then-boyfriend and fiancé.

Twenty years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life. Now, the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable thing has happened… the reason we’re here is because I want to capture this moment in time because it is even better than the first time.

Lopez Says Her Initial Split From Affleck Was ‘Painful’

Unfortunately, Lopez and Affleck’s initial relationship was not met with a fairytale ending. As reported by People, the couple met in early 2002 and were engaged by November of that same year. By January 2004, they decided to call it quits.

It was so painful after we broke up. Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, I was — it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die.

Lopez said the split sent her on a “spiral for the next 18 years.” And she “just couldn’t get it right.”

Lopez added that the media and tabloid frenzy surrounding “Bennifer” also contributed to the downfall of the pair’s relationship — ultimately, “destroying” them.

That was part of what destroyed us was the outside energy that was coming at us. And we loved each other, it was hard. It felt, at times, unfair, but neither one of us is that person to be like, woe is me. So we were like, ‘Well, we just got to dust it off and keep it moving.’ And I think, in the weirdest way, that it motivated both of us to then become and do the things that we wound up doing, which is kind of go into hyper-gear. He went into hyper-gear and I went into hyper-gear. But not together. We had to do it separately… It fueled us in a weird way that we felt we had to prove ourselves again.

This Is Me…Now

Despite the couple’s split, they still found their way back to one another — in what Lopez says is the “most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending.”

But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending. ‘That would never happen. We’re not going to write that because nobody would believe it’ ending.

Her upcoming album, This Is Me…Now, will explore her reconnection with Affleck, the current triumph of their relationship, and encourage others to know that lost love can be found once again.

We captured me at this moment in time when I was reunited with the love of my life and we decided we were going to be together forever. The whole message of the album then is this love exists. This is a real love. Now I think what the message of the album is very much if you were wondering if you have, like me at times, lost hope, almost given up, don’t. Because true love does exist and some things do last forever and that’s real.

Lopez also revealed that Affleck questioned whether the star should be so transparent on her forthcoming album.

“‘Oh, do you really want to say all this stuff?’” she recalled him asking.

“‘I don’t know how else to do it, baby,’” she replied.

This Is Me…Now will be released in 2023.

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