Madisson Hausburg gave an update on how she’s coping with her current pregnancy after suffering a loss.
“PAL (pregnancy after loss) is a whirlwind,” the Siesta Key alum, 29, wrote via Instagram on Monday, December 4. “I haven’t talked about it much publicly because after a year and a half of grueling infertility, I often feel guilty for expressing anything but gratefulness when it comes to pregnancy. The truth is, I AM incredibly grateful AND I am anxious and terrified at times. I thought the further along I got, the easier it would be. But, turns out it’s quite the opposite.”
Hausburg, who announced in July she was pregnant, confessed that as her due date approaches she’s become “acutely aware” and feels relief every time she feels a “kick and twirl.” The former reality star’s first pregnancy with son Elliot ended in a stillbirth in 2021.
“While most days are good days, I still wake each morning in fear and clutch my stomach until I feel her move,” she admitted. “After losing Elliot at full term, I know that a healthy pregnancy doesn’t always equal a living baby in the end and I will not be fully relieved until our girl is in my arms safe and sound. I think it’s important to recognize that PAL is an incredibly complicated journey filled with duality.”
Hausburg acknowledged that it was a “blessing” for her to be pregnant again. However, she also shared that her tragic loss has “vastly changed” how pregnancy makes her feel the second time around. Despite her worries, she’s still looking forward to the day she can meet her little one.
“That being said, I am SOOOOOO attached and obsessed and in love with this baby girl inside me!!!”Hausburg gushed. “I am so happy to be her mama and I will continue doing my best and being the best mama I can be to both of my babies! .”
Before revealing that she and husband Ish Soto were expecting again, Hausburg shared that she was on the fence about deciding whether or not to try to conceive for a second time.
“I am utterly terrified. After Elliot’s death, I don’t think I will ever be truly emotionally ready to be pregnant again,” she wrote via Instagram in March 2022. “But I have this deep need to be that I can’t explain.”
She continued: “It is extremely difficult navigating motherhood without your baby. Kissing Elliot’s cold, hard urn every night is a stark contrast to kissing the soft, warm cheeks of my baby boy. There’s a hole in my heart that will never be healed, but I hold hope that motherhood won’t always look like this for me .”